When is HGH not really HGH?

Roger Clemens is telling the truth. He never told friend and teammate Andy Pettitte that he had taken human growth hormone. That Andy is always mishearing things, like the time he thought the Pledge of Allegiance says “and to the republic of witches’ hands.”

What Clemens actually said was that he’d been taking Hunan growth hormone—an ancient herbal remedy for enhancing performance, not on the pitcher’s mound, but rather, ahem, with getting to home base. Which is why he is so reluctant to talk about it. It’s a guy thing.

As for his wife taking it, too, maybe they were just following the directions on the bottle. It is not our place to judge. We cannot read Chinese.

Roger Clemens shops for Chinese herbal supplements