Chinese Food Network Presents 3 Minute Meals

The cable company is always adding channels I didn’t ask for, but Chinese Food Network delivers recipes that are both quick and healthful — just stay away from the fried stuff.

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This recipe for “Broccoli with benzene” isn’t half bad, but it still doesn’t taste exactly like the version I get at Main Ling down the street. Probably because they use imported benzene.

It can’t be stressed enough — you need to be sure the lead is fully melted, otherwise it results in a slimy mouthfeel and reduced brain functioning.