Chinese Food Network Presents 3 Minute Meals

The cable company is always adding channels I didn’t ask for, but Chinese Food Network delivers recipes that are both quick and healthful — just stay away from the fried stuff.

[click pic for larger version]

Broccoli with benzene

This recipe for “Broccoli with benzene” isn’t half bad, but it still doesn’t taste exactly like the version I get at Main Ling down the street. Probably because they use imported benzene.


Noodles in melted lead sauce

It can’t be stressed enough — you need to be sure the lead is fully melted, otherwise it results in a slimy mouthfeel and reduced brain functioning.


General Hu’s spicy melamine with garlic

Don’t be a cheapskate and buy the generic melamine. You totally lose the depth of flavor compared to artisanal melamine, preferably locally-sourced.



Comments

One Response to “Chinese Food Network Presents 3 Minute Meals”

  1. J. on November 17th, 2008 4:53 pm

    Just found your blarg (via Ecommerce-Guide.com — great article there, btw). And am so glad I did! Very funny stuff. Please post more.

Leave a Reply




Subscribe without commenting