Stuff That Can Kill You
Sugar! Lightbulbs! Plastics! Blowing Your Nose into a Mocha Latte While Having Sex on a Treadmill!
Every day we hear about new threats to our life. But where can you go to find every reason to be scared all in one convenient place?
Stuff That Can Kill You
Go there now. Unless you’re already dead.
Shirts You Can Wear
If you’ve never before worn a shirt, you’re in for a real treat! Even if you wear shirts every day, you may not know all the versatile uses ready to be enjoyed with a shirt from Shirtsyoucanwear.com.
With a shirt you can:
- Prevent public nudity by covering shameful areas of your body. Especially effective for women!
- Stay warm by repelling cold winds. Also works with air conditioning.
- Avoid sunburns–shirts can absorb 103% of the sun’s most damaging rays, prolonging your life.
- Clean up spills. Use your shirt to quickly mop up liquids including coffee, milk, and pet accidents.
- Pay off loan sharks. You can’t give away “the shirt right off your back” if you’re not wearing one.
- Define your identity, by wearing a shirt expressing thoughts and ideas written by someone else!
Always remember to wear shirts responsibly. Do not clean with sandpaper. Never fold using scissors. Not for use while showering or at nudist colonies.
Obama is black: exposing the truth
It is time for one person to speak out and reveal the truth once and forall. Barack Obama is not who you may think he is. Because of what you will find out, they will not tell you this in big media like CNN or CNN International or CNN en Español and NBC and CNBC and MSNBC.
Sarah Palin launches 2011 presidental campaign
Show your support — be a part of the most historical time in history!
Book release! Live Nude Cats: Tabbyloid Tails from the Furry Underbelly of Adult Feline Entertainment
Now available at your friendly bookmonger!
The Naked Truth: A Meowmoir
When two orphaned kittens are sprung from the local lockup, they quickly become the furriest new sensations in adult feline entertainment—until their scandalous lives and sleazy managers leave them washed up and clawing their way back for one last kibble of fame.
Three reasons to get your copy of Live Nude Cats today:
1. Full of nude cats!
2. Mostly pictures! Read it in under 46 minutes!
3. Less than ten bucks! Makes a great recession-friendly gift!
Steamy hot new video for Live Nude Cats
Craigslist adds new “Rapes & Murders” section
Under pressure from politicians and law enforcement agencies throughout the U.S., Craigslist has finally addressed concerns that its free classified ads are often abused for illegal activity.
To help their users more easily find the right section for these kinds of ads, Craigslist has introduced an experimental new “Rapes & Murders” sections on its Compton, California site. Users are already flocking to the new forum, and Craigslist hopes to soon expand it to more cities, including Detroit and New Orleans.
[click picture below to see full-size version]
Just in time for Passover–new Bacon & Egg Matzos
In this tough economy every company needs to broaden its market. With Passover right around the corner, why not bring the great taste of matzoh to families across the nation without regard to race, creed, or religion? What a delicious way to survive hard times.
Plus: Streit’s Bacon & Egg Matzos make a quick and nutritious breakfast any day of the year–just add syrup!
Laid off? Out of work? Join Al-Qaeda!
Lots of people work for someone they don’t like. In this depressed economy, you’re lucky to work for anyone at all. Which is exactly why there’s never been a better time to join Al-Qaeda!
With on-site training, free dental, and (permanent) maternity leave, what are you waiting for? Join Al-Qaeda!
New Live Nude Cats
Petophiles rejoice! You can now meet all of your kitty porn needs at the newly updated
Soon to be available in book form–see site for details.
New site features include message board and “Amateur Action”–create your own kitty porn and share with everyone including friends, family, and federal authorities.
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Funny is a very subjective thing. If I say, "Does this milk smell funny to you?" you might say no, proceed to drink it, and die of poisoning by botulism. For example.
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Fresh
- Stuff That Can Kill You
- Shirts You Can Wear
- Obama is black: exposing the truth
- Sarah Palin launches 2011 presidental campaign
- Book release! Live Nude Cats: Tabbyloid Tails from the Furry Underbelly of Adult Feline Entertainment
- Steamy hot new video for Live Nude Cats
- Craigslist adds new “Rapes & Murders” section
- Just in time for Passover–new Bacon & Egg Matzos
- Laid off? Out of work? Join Al-Qaeda!
- New Live Nude Cats
- Coke’s Illustrated Equipment Review: Reconsidering the Crack Pipe
- Chinese Food Network Presents 3 Minute Meals
- America’s first “green prison”
- Microsoft Relationship Support
- Drug addicts rejoice — for the Coke of the Month Club
- The Antiques of Truth
- Alter ego via CNN…
- MASTERING UPPERCASE LETTERS
- Blogging as Osama
- Resignations of lesser renown
- Cooks Illustrated Recipe: Boiled Water
- My Year of Cannibalism
- Le Art Film: A French Guy Looking Out The Window On A Train
- The future netopia is a disruptive steampunk hive hacking the analog hegemony
- Bestselling: How to write a book that flies off shelves, earns millions, and can be summed up in a 500 word title
- FOX Reality Presents: Are you dumber than an idiot?
- Asian cinema seems so sophisticated…
- Bullet Point Film Review: There Will Be Blood
- Bullet Point Film Review: Gone Baby Gone
- When is HGH not really HGH?
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Order my new book and you will experience a sensation that starts out warm and ends with a strange rash. This feeling is called shame.